Mouth to Mouth
by RWPeaches
Summary: After a statement made by Grissom, confusion ensues for Sara.
1. Chapter 1

I had to clean this up a bit, the chapters were a little off. Sorry for the re-posting, I removed the original and have made minor changes to this version. Hope you like…

Grissom had a job to do…he had been momentarily flustered by a beautiful brunette who

had a tendency to create a disturbance in his otherwise flawlessly work driven exterior.

Sara had cornered him just a few moments ago,

" Griss, we're not having any luck identifying the three teenagers from CC drive, it's

been two days, no-ones come forward, without an I.D. it's like they never even existed."

She had approached out of nowhere, and he hadn't been aware that she was so close.

There had been a time when he would have sensed her before seeing her. Sara had a

penchant for inadvertently sending a non-verbal signal alerting him of her presence, but

lately she was off the radar. Grissom couldn't identify the exact moment she had fallen

from his map, all that he knew was that he missed her. Instantaneously breaking down

this new information he discovered a unique swagger and revitalized energy. He needed

to re-kindle the old emotions regardless of the consequences. He had spent countless time

in San Francisco and Vegas analyzing her smile…the one that he was aware Sara had not

worn in quite some time, and although he knew he was a partial cause for this he could

not quite admit it to himself.

"We need to get their faces out into the public, newspapers, billboards…" he stated in a

matter of fact and was gently cut off by her lack luster reply,

"Well maybe you could breathe a little bit more life into them." She just didn't have the

fight left in her to take another criticism from Grissom.

His reply had slipped from his lips before he had any time to censor himself, pulling out

his most playful tone he added,

"Yeah, I'm pretty good at mouth to mouth." He had wanted to turn and gauge her

emotions based on the last statement, but his grin was unable to be suppressed. He

internally patted himself on the back for his clever wit and outlandish flirtation. It felt

good to know that he was finally trying once again to make amends.

If he would have turned back he may have seen her puzzled expression. Almost angry,

Sara wondered why he kept on sending these hidden messages. It was heartbreakingly

clear that he could not afford the risk of pursuing a relationship with her, and yet he kept

on delivering these mixed signals. Sara's mouth was agape, like the billy bass above

Grissom's door, but for once not having a word to say. Her ability to speak to him had

intentionally been shut off since she had realized that she over talked around him. She

would not make that mistake again. She had decided to remain utterly professional in his

presence, no matter how much it pained her to do so.

As Grissom conducted the facial analysis he could not help thinking that the reason he

had mastered this specific technique was because of the copious amount of time he had

spent reverently seeking out each line of Sara's face as she smiled. It broke his heart that

he hadn't witnessed that beautiful gap toothed smile in far too long. This was something

that he wanted desperately to fix. He would seek her out after shift and attempt to repair

the damage. He was not certain just how he was going to go about it, but he knew that it

may call for drastic measures.

Sara had a job to do, and yet her mind wandered off track…that last comment from

Grissom, although puzzling and unnerving, was one of those uncharacteristic statements

that seemed flirtatious in nature…STOP! Sara mentally chastised herself, once again she

had to take her mind off of Grissom and focus on the task at hand.

Sara had a job to do, she had to meet with Sophie to continue her investigation. Normally

this would shake her, having the knowledge of Grissom's undisputed desire for blondes,

but today and admittedly most days as of late she just did not care anymore. She didn't

have the energy to care. Sara was tired and found herself getting more emotional and

personally involved. Call it a lack of concern for herself, a gentle reminder of the horrific

things that people do to one another (something she knew all too well), or a giving up of

sorts. She needed to solve these cases now. She had to have that resolve in order to justify

self worth. Nobody else was going to give her a reason to keep on going. This was

it…this was what her life had been reduced to. No more quiet nights pining over

Grissom, no more drinking binges that only led to more self loathing. Personally invested

in her work, it was all she had left. Although something in the back of her mind kept her

hanging on to the hope that if she just solved this case, the next case, the case after that,

Grissom would be forced to notice and at least appreciate the effort she put forth. Sara

couldn't help stumbling onto why Griss had sent up that flirtatious flare

"_Yeah, I'm pretty good at mouth to mouth." What the hell was that supposed to mean?_

She was definitely over thinking this. She had a case to solve.


	2. Chapter 2

Grissom had finally completed the final paperwork on the case. He sat at his desk and

smoothly removed his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose in thought. How could he

put an end to the misery he had caused for himself and Sara. He was worn from the

emotional roller coaster he had ridden today. He wondered whether he should make an

effort tonight. Was it too late? Whoa now there is a loaded question. Grissom slumped

forward leaning his elbows on the remaining file folders and wondered if their

relationship was as hopeless as the big fish board containing the unsolved cases.

"I can't just sit around pondering the 'coulda 'shoulda 'woulda's. I need to go and determine 'What to do about This'. I just hope I am not too late."

He had no grand plan, no romantic gesture of flowers or chocolate as this would seem

presumptuous. Grissom knew that "This" whatever it was, would need to be taken at a

snails pace if he hope for it to progress into something salvageable. He needed to open

up and admit his feelings, no matter how difficult that may be. Picking up his jacket he

strode confidently out to the Denali and unlocked the door. It may not have been the key

to his future, but he had to think in simplicity so that he did not become overwhelmed.

The key was only a key. There were no metaphors here. Adjusting himself behind the

wheel he contemplated how Sara would react and the thought scared him beyond belief.

He was not a man to deal well with the unknown, especially when he had created so

many factors that may sway her towards a negative position. Grissom was not a man to

give up too easily on something that he was focused on so he started the engine and

made a steady path towards Sara's apartment. Although he had only been there once he

could not forget the path towards his destiny.

Arriving at the apartment he swiftly exited the truck and headed to her door. He could not

chance a look back now. He needed to do this. He had no idea what he was going to say,

no planned speech or soliloquy to recite, just raw emotion. He stood just far enough

away from the peep hole so that Sara could make the decision to speak to him, or not. He

figured the rejection would be easier this way. After all, how could she not be aware that

he had openly made an effort to flirt with her earlier in their shift?

"Yeah, I'm pretty good at Mouth to Mouth." No misinterpreting that little slip.

He had unwittingly let his desires speak before his mind had caught up.

However, a gentleman always lets the lady decide her fate. He had thrown out the line,

and now it was her choice how far she wanted to run with it, if at all. Swallowing his

pride and his fear, Grissom knocked on the door….the lights were on, and her truck was

parked outside, she must be home, Grissom knocked again…

One hour earlier…

Sara dragged herself up the stairs and unlocked the door. She unwillingly trailed into her

apartment understanding the stench of loneliness. She eyed the half empty cartons of

leftover Chinese food teetering on her crammed side table. Sara had once upon a time

thought about quitting her overindulgence in take out cuisine, but she had given up on

alcohol and Grissom…what else was left? And besides, she had not been able to gain a

pound lately. She didn't want to think of the reasons for her drastic weight loss, but if

she was forced to take one guess, she would name one name that caused her stress. She

had plenty of time but just had no more emotion to question Griss's motives for what he

had said today. She rifled it into her mental rolodex as a Griss'ism and left it at that. No

more overactive imagination at the hidden meanings and no more speculation on why he

had said those specific words to her. Why not Sophia, Catherine or even Lady

Heather…then again, they probably already knew of his talents in mouth to mouth.

"_Why am I doing this to myself? STOP IT, NOW!" _

Lethargically she stumbled her way into her bedroom in search of her favorite flannel

pajamas. Not an easy task, even for a trained investigator. Clothes were strewn about in

all directions and her bed was in a disarray of sheets and pillowcases. As tired as she

was, Sara decided that she needed to clean up her life, and the bedroom was a good start.

She shuffled through items eventually recovering her pajamas and then trudged to

towards the washroom for a bath. The life organization could wait until she had gotten

some relaxation. Picking up her towel from the linoleum and placing it alongside her

flannels she ran the tub and began to hum along to one of her favorite songs about

unrequited love. Dipping in a toe she heard a quiet knock on the door. She forced herself

to keep away the romantic notions that one day perhaps it would be Grissom on the other

side. In her version he would sweep her up and profess his undying love and affection.

Sara knew that it would only be her nosy neighbor once again and decided to close the

bathroom door and drown out her desires in bubbles and steam as she relaxed into the

warm water along the smoothness of the porcelain surface. She was unaware when the

knocking stopped.


	3. Chapter 3

Sara emerged refreshed and decided to tackle the physically visible challenges. She skirted each

room with the finesse of a ballerina, delivering each room into a perfect order. Managing the articles of her

apartment into refined and defined compartments as she ignored the mismanagement of her non-existent

relationship with one Gil Grissom. She crafted a new system for her forensics magazines and discarded old

clothing vowing to improve her wardrobe. She emptied the refrigerator and cupboard contents of any labels

with overdue expiration dates…(on second thought) of all contents and ran out to the disposal bin in her

bare feet. Revitalized she began going through the last contents of her apartment…photos of the past. She

discarded the evil reminders of her childhood and kept the Harvard photos of the friends she had rarely (if

ever) contacted.

Once she was done Sara sat down in her now cleansed and aesthetically pleasing environment, and yet she

still wasn't any closer to feeling better,

"Screw you Grissom!" she screamed.

Sara couldn't shake him or this feeling he kept on attaching to her remained no matter how much she tried

to cleanse the world around her. Laying in a fetal position on her freshly washed bed sheets, Sara cried

herself to sleep.

Grissom had finally given up…on Sara…on himself. He placed his Denali into park in front of his

townhouse and emerged a broken man. He entered his sterile environment and wondered how he could

keep things so clean when his emotional life was in uproar and turmoil. Gil headed straight for the liquor

cabinet, pouring himself two shots of scotch straight up and then straight down. He poured himself two

more and settled on his couch. He wondered at that point why he had purchased the white leather artistic

piece. It wasn't like anyone ever appreciated it, not that many had been invited, nor did he even find it

comfortable at that point. Now he understood why Brass had an old brown barcalounger in his bachelor

pad…he figured that existing without love…alone…well, perhaps comfort may be a virtue. Gil used to be

comfortable and alone without a barcalounger, but now he was reconsidering his options. Maybe scotch

and a comfortable chair were all he needed…

The amber liquid only heated his own internal frustration at not acting sooner. He was a fool…his mind

reeled from the alcohol. He HAD waited too long…he poured himself another drink. Who was he kidding

anyways…Sara was out of his league. Why had he resorted to that comment anyways?

_"Yeah, I'm pretty good at mouth to mouth."_ What was I thinking!

Grissom abruptly stood up, shaking with contempt for his own inaction in the years of broken opportunities

passed. He was angry at himself for his own resistance and misguided attempts at salvaging "This" and

choosing his career. Newfound realization that all along he had been ruining Sara. Lunging with a clenched

fist…broken glass, a bleeding fist and butterfly wings in tatters were his reminders of his own emptiness.

He sorted through feelings of incompetence as a man who only now realized that love is the bain of

existence.

Sara Sidle awoke with swollen red eyes and a no clearer understanding of why one Gil Grissom

had the capability of doing this to her.

Gil Grissom awoke with a deserved hangover and no cleared understanding of why one Sara Sidle

had the capability of doing this to him.


End file.
